


Alone in the Dark

by solarismagnum



Series: Readamancy [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Grief, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 10:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7167749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarismagnum/pseuds/solarismagnum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knowing and accepting your soulmate is only the beginning of the path, especially if you both happen to be superheroes. Barry and Oliver are just beginning to explore their bond when fate throws a few wrenches into the mix. Will their bond strengthen, or will they both falter?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

>   
> _"You're not afraid of the dark, you're afraid of being alone in the dark."_ \- Nora Allen
> 
>   
>  Finally, part 2 is here! Real life has certainly thrown a few wrenches into my attempts to finish this. There's still so much more story to tell! Thank you so very much to everyone who has left feedback and kudos on DIWK! It means a lot to me, and it's kept my determination to work on this series strong.
> 
> There are some text conversations scattered throughout Barry's side of the story. Barry's texts are in bold and the other participant's name is listed before each section.
> 
> Let's start with Barry Allen's No Good, Very Bad Christmas Holiday. Hope you enjoy!

It was another quiet day at the STAR Labs office, which meant Cisco and Dr. Wells were rearranging some poor machine's innards while Barry and Caitlin went for a coffee run.

Truthfully, Barry wanted out of the labs for a little bit. This was his first day off at the precinct since their little trip to Starling City and Barry really wanted to talk to Caitlin alone. Everything was too damn complicated.

Iris came and said hello, having made their drinks. She had put exactly the right amount of sugar in his coffee. The sting of it was an ache Barry had been familiar with for years. Iris knew his likes and his dislikes (almost all of the important ones, anyway). She was his best friend and one of the most lovable people on the planet. She had always been his dream.

Barry looked at his wrist, playing with the fabric of the long sleeve that covered his words. Oliver's words. Oliver needed him more than either of them could put into words. The Arrow was a hero and a douchebag but Oliver was lost, drifting away from all he cared and knew when he needed it the most. Barry knew how that felt, even though he barely knew the details about how Oliver had become that way.

But Oliver had been right - Barry could help. Barry _wanted_ to help, to show Oliver the good side of him that he no longer believed in. But as fate would have it, it wasn't that simple.

Once Iris was gone, Barry finally spoke up. "Can I ask you something personal, Caitlin?"

"Depends on how personal," she replied, arching an eyebrow. "But I think I can guess."

"Before you met Ronnie, did you believe in soulmates?"

"You could say that. I always hoped, and I did a little studying when I could."

"And when you met Ronnie, did you know?" Barry rubbed the back of his neck. "Did you ever want to be with anyone else?"

Caitlin set down her coffee cup. "I had to know if it was real first - if it actually meant something." She took a few deep breaths. Barry watched her carefully before putting his hand on her shoulder. "It did, and now that I know I haven't really thought about anyone else. It's... It's a possibility I suppose."

"I'm sorry, Caitlin." Barry swallowed hard. "I'm really sorry to have to ask, but I don't know who else to talk to." He glanced at Iris, who was chatting cheerfully with a customer about something he hoped wasn't the Flash. Or was. He didn't know what he wanted anymore.

"I never wanted this. But now it's right in front of me and Jackie and - what is that look for?"

Caitlin's lips were pursed tight, holding back words she wasn't sure she wanted to say. "I, uh, swallowed a little too much coffee too soon. Not fun."

"Do you want some water? I can-"

"No, not at all. I'll be fine!" Caitlin replied hurriedly. "You were saying?"

Barry looked at his own coffee. "It's a little weird I guess, thinking my life is going in some predetermined direction."

"Weirder than getting superpowers after being struck by lightning?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Barry smirked. "I guess I shouldn't be that bothered by it." He spared another glance towards Iris and Caitlin shook her head.

" _You_ just keep getting distracted. I think one day you'll realize just how much Jackie means to you, and then it will start to feel right."

"I hope you're right."

***

[OLIVER]

`Leaving the country for a few days. Will not be reachable by phone.`

` **Need backup?** `

` No. It's something I need to do alone.`

` **If you change your mind, I'm only a few minutes away.** `

` Not across the Pacific.`

` **Not with that attitude ;) Good luck.** `

` Thanks. I hope I don't need it.`

***

He was clocking a few hundred miles per hour when it hit him. Something knocked the wind right out of him as if he'd been hit straight in the chest. Barry forced himself into a safe stop but it was a very near thing. Whatever had hit him was spreading through his chest like the chill of ice water on a hot day.

Barry looked around, searching for any sign of a metahuman. He was the only one there. "Uh guys, have you seen any signs of weird activity around here?" he asked his communicator, hoping the team at STAR Labs would have news.

"The weirdest thing out there right now is you, Mr. Allen," Wells replied. "Are you picking up something we aren't?"

Barry took a few deep breaths before speaking again. It did nothing to help the emptiness in his chest. "I don't know. I think I got hit with something... I don't feel right."

"There are a few irregularities in your vitals," Caitlin replied. "The changes aren't drastic, but I think it's best if you come back to the lab for testing."

"I'm on my way back. Cisco, can you check and see what Snart is up to? Chill is usually his thing."

"On it!"

***

Being a superhero's primary physician had some surprising familiarity to it. Caitlin was so used to running tests that she could run them all by rote - which came in handy in moments like this, when she was more distracted than she wanted to let on.

There was a lump in her throat as she worked. The fluctuations in Barry's vitals provided a little insight - something worth adding to her research anyway - but she already knew what was wrong. She had never forgotten that feeling nor that awful day.

The tests were mostly for the benefit of Cisco and Dr. Wells. And even then, she hoped they wouldn't know what was wrong. At least not before Barry had a chance to work through it.

"I got nothing on Captain Cold. The satellite isn't picking up any air temperature abnormalities either, so I'm not sure what could have hit you," Cisco said. Worry was written all over his face, with just a strong hint of disappointment. "I'll keep looking, though."

"Thanks, Cisco," Barry replied.

Caitlin took the chance to chime in. "I don't have anything conclusive yet either. I think, barring any metahuman activity, you should probably get some rest to shake this off." She offered her most supportive smile.

Wells wheeled past to another computer, his lips spread thin with what could have been annoyance. Frustration? Caitlin couldn't quite place the expression on his face, but he was definitely displeased. "Caitlin, Cisco, I'm going to need you to find something more concrete and fixable than that. We still have a lot of work to do with improving Barry's speed." He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I've got a few ideas to research, but I was thinking of taking Barry home first," Caitlin replied nervously. "So he can rest."

"Do that. I'll touch base with you when you get back." Wells looked up. "Barry - get better." At least that was sincere.

STAR Labs had always been labyrinthine - it was something Ronnie had enjoyed. As a lead engineer for the particle accelerator, he'd had access to pretty much any room in the place for safety reasons. He'd always taken that seriously.

She thought about one day in so many, where they'd come back from lunch and he'd take her some new direction through the labs to show off some other department. He'd stop by to grab stress test results or some other mundane thing and steal a kiss from her instead. It was so cheesy and after a while kind of predictable, but she'd loved every moment of it. She'd loved all those moments and a year later, the sting of coming back hadn't entirely faded.

And now she had to share that pain with someone else. Finding a room where they could talk privately without having to worry about Cisco or Dr. Wells coming in was simple enough - she knew the place almost as well as Ronnie had.

"Caitlin? This isn't the way out," Barry noted.

She bit her lip. "We need to talk. And I think it's better that we don't have this talk in public."

Barry's expression softened. "What's wrong, Caitlin?"

Caitlin swallowed hard. She hadn't thought too much about how to address Jackie's identity with Barry now that she knew who he was. She had hoped it would find a more natural way to come up in conversation. Now it had, but it definitely wasn't how she wanted to talk about it.

"You need to call Oliver," she said, unsuccessfully hiding a quiver in her voice.

"Oliver?" Barry replied, blinking in surprise. "What? Why?"

"It's Jackie. It doesn't matter how I know that right now, but I think something has happened to him and that's the reason you're feeling off." She looked down at the floor. "I know how you're feeling because I've already felt it."

Barry had been in a gloomy mood before, but his face faltered under the surprise. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "He went on a mission somewhere. Damn it, he said he had to go alone." The air flickered with energy. Barry wanted to pace, wanted to run to wherever Oliver needed him, wanted to run however long it took for the feeling to go away. "Maybe Diggle went with him. Dig always has his back."

Barry scrambled to grab his phone. Caitlin watched him as he texted, hoping for the best.

***

[DIGGLE]

` **Dig are you with Oliver?** `

` No. He's currently out of town.`

` **Can you check on him? I think something may have happened.** `

` What makes you say that?`

` **Just a feeling.** `

` I'll see if he's got his satellite phone on. When I hear back I'll let you know what he says.`

` **Thanks, Dig.** `

` No problem.`

***

He didn't feel any better. Barry knew Diggle would do his best and that he'd get Felicity involved without too much worry. Watching Oliver's back was their thing. They had to be his contingency plan. Oliver had beaten death multiple times already - he could definitely do it again.

The emptiness inside him grew colder as he thought about it. If he was honest, he already knew what Diggle's response would be. There was nothing Oliver could say.

His eyes stung. There was no use fighting back the tears once they started. Caitlin was there almost immediately to offer a hug and her shoulder to cry on.

"I'm so sorry," she said, squeezing him tight. "I didn't want to tell you, but you needed to know. You don't need to deal with this alone."

He nodded into her shoulder, sniffling. Grief was a feeling he was all too familiar with. His mother's murder and the aftermath had cut deep. Even on good days he missed her unbearably. But the years between his mother's death and the present had afforded him a level of numbness towards it. Though he had never - would never - accepted it, he'd gotten used to the feeling. He had never imagined anything could feel worse than that, worse than the pinnacle of despair, yet now it tore through him with a more physical vengeance. And it was only the beginning.

"It goes away, I promise," Caitlin said. "It was awful for the first day or so, but it faded away with time. Let me just get you home so you can work through it. You don't have to deal with this here."

"Right." Barry nodded and stepped back. "I just..." He wiped his eyes and stood a little straighter, but he was fooling no one. "Let's go."

Caitlin rubbed his shoulder. "I'm here for you. Anything you need."

They were too focused on Barry's situation to notice the shabbily-dressed man lurking in the STAR Labs parking lot as they passed.

***

Staying at home did little to soothe Barry's nerves. Caitlin had left him with tissues and some comfort food, but Barry didn't feel comfortable staying put and wallowing in his grief. The ache hadn't left him but neither had the sense of restlessness. What had happened to Oliver? Was there something he could have done to help? Was this really what all that buildup had been leading to - finding his actual soulmate out of the haystack of jerks who had chided him for most of his life, as well as discovering that he actually _liked_ his soulmate - was it all for nothing?

Eventually, he grabbed a comfortable enough pair of shoes and headed out for a long run. He ran out of Central City and all the way to Starling. He stopped by a building across the street from the apartment Oliver shared with Thea, a place he'd been wanting to visit for a while now. Thea was curled up on the couch watching TV, and from her expression Barry could see that she had no idea the trouble her brother was in.

He wanted to stop by the foundry to check in with Felicity and Diggle, but that would probably upset them more. Going in there would be painful enough - Oliver spent most of his time there, and the place would be haunted by the lack of him.

Instead he turned west. West, and a little to the south. Zigzagging through city streets was all part of his routine but when he ran to the west, he could feel a ripple in the ache. There was a faint pull that grew stronger as he ran towards it. With the night off, there was no better time to explore than the present.

Of course it had been west. Running to the Wests was something he did best, and what he probably should have done in the first place. Maybe if he hadn't opened his heart to Oliver in the first place, maybe if he had just kept waiting for Iris, then perhaps...

No. There was no point in thinking about it anymore. Oliver wasn't an option and Iris was taken. He could wait a little longer, now that his schedule was free.

Barry made it to Coast City. He could see the Pacific and the only clue as to where Oliver had gone. With a snack and a running start, Barry could prove Oliver wrong one last time. He stopped off for pizza and tried to focus on where the pull was leading him. Barry thought about sending Diggle a text to see if he could find out where Oliver had gone, but when he pulled at his phone there were already messages waiting for him. Most were worried texts from Cisco and Caitlin but there was also a notification that Iris had updated her Flash blog.

Her latest post wasn't about the Flash. There had been an attempted robbery at Mercury Labs. The suspect was man in a yellow suit. According to a witness, the man had appeared like lightning and disappeared just as quickly.

Barry ran home.

***

The next morning at STAR Labs was a lot less awkward than it could have been, all things considered. Barry's heart still yearned, still grieved, but all he could think about was vengeance. Not for a moment had he wondered whether the man in the yellow suit was anyone other than the one who murdered his mother, the man in the lightning. His father and his twelve year old self hadn't been able to stop him, but he was the Flash now. The Flash had the power to put an end to this.

"You're looking much better this morning, Mr. Allen," Wells said as he wheeled into the cortex.

"I'm still looking into possible causes for what happened yesterday," Cisco added, typing away at a computer. "Still nothing, but the meta at Mercury Labs kinda threw a wrench into everything last night." He looked at Barry apologetically and Barry nodded. He wasn't yet up to telling Cisco that he had done nothing wrong, since that would involve explaining what happened to him in the first place and why.

No time for that today. "Anything new about that meta?" he said, clapping his hands together. His body was teeming with energy still, having tampered down on his grief in order to hunt a man he'd been trying to find for ages.

"The item that this metahuman attempted to steal was a prototype device capable of manipulating tachyon particles," Wells said.

"According to their police report, anyway." Cisco nodded. "You can thank Joe for that, by the way. He had that report to us in record time."

That warmed Barry a little. It had been such a relief when Joe had finally believed him about that horrible night. To know he was drawing the same conclusions made Barry feel slightly less lonely.

Dr. Wells maneuvered his chair next to where Barry was standing. "Joe is going over to Mercury Labs to interview Dr. McGee. It's not unlikely to think that you'll be with him when he does." Barry glanced at his phone - there was already a text from Joe telling him to get down to the station. "Barry, it's important that you realize that the tachyon device is not safe at Mercury Labs. While they are just as capable as STAR Labs was before the accelerator incident, they do not have the same level of awareness or anti-metahuman technology that we have here." Wells took off his glasses for a moment. "This will not be the last we see of this new speedster. He _will_ get that tachyon device if it is not properly secured."

Barry nodded. "I'll talk to Dr. McGee about it."

"It's essential that you convince her. I know you can," Wells added with a smile, putting his glasses back on.

"I got this."

As Barry left, he ran into Caitlin, who had just come from Jitters and had coffee for the team. Barry took his to lighten the load, but Caitlin only looked at him sadly.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Barry looked at her, placing his free hand on her shoulder. "I have to do this, Caitlin. For my parents."

"But what about Oliver?"

His eyes stung. Barry blinked the tears away, refusing to back down. "I have to worry about the people who are still here. That metahuman is the reason my father is sitting in prison for a murder he didn't commit. I can at least fix that."

Caitlin's eyes were glassy. "I still believe in you, Barry." But her voice wavered - she knew he was reckless when it came to people he cared about. Nothing could hide her doubt, especially not something Oliver had told him last.

He sped away without looking back.

\---

Once they finished at Mercury, Joe insisted that Barry ride with him back to STAR Labs. The pull from the night before tugged at him once more as they navigated the streets of Central City. Barry had managed pretty well at Mercury Labs thanks to his determination to stop the man in yellow. Now that he was just riding along, it was easier for the gloom to sink back in.

It didn't take long for Joe to notice. "You doing okay, Barr?"

Barry shrugged. "I've got a lot on my mind right now."

"No kidding. When I heard about last night, I figured you were gonna be upset about this," Joe replied. "Didn't exactly figure you were gonna be so blue about it, though."

"The timing isn't great," Barry said after a moment of silence. It was the best he could think of, and it wasn't entirely a lie. "I mean... after the Bivolo thing the Flash isn't exactly on the CCPD's Christmas card list, and even if he wasn't it's a bit too close to Christmas to send one anyway. That man has already hurt my family, and I'm not going to let him have a shot at round two."

"Now that sounds more like you. Not that I'm all that big on revenge, but I want to see justice done here almost as much as you do." They came up to a red light, and Joe took the opportunity to place a hand on Barry's shoulder. "We're gonna make this right."

Barry couldn't help but smile. He was so glad to have Joe's support in this. Maybe when this was over, he could explain to Joe what else was bothering him. Joe would still have his back.

\---

Barry was doing a thorough job of scouring Central City in spite of himself, or so he thought. But it was the man in yellow that had found him first, joining the Flash on the street as he ran. Barry sped up but his enemy only got faster, weaving in and out of streets with speed Barry had only dreamt of. He chased the man in yellow to a football stadium, one that Barry's graduation had been held in.

It was big enough, and more importantly empty enough, that he could fight the man in yellow there without innocent people getting in the way. Between graduation rehearsals and a handful of soccer championships, Barry thought he had enough familiarity to give him an advantage. He could disorient his opponent and use that advantage to make his attack.

He was already getting the hang of this strategy thing. Oliver would've been proud.

The heat of the chase wasn't enough to warm the chill in Barry's bones, so he darted down a tunnel to call STAR Labs. "Guys, I've found that meta!"

Silence.

"Hey, come in," Barry said hurriedly. "The man in the yellow suit is here! I've got him at the stadium."

A distorted voice hung in the air around him. "Your friends are too busy to help you." A burst of red lightning charged towards Barry, and Barry took off again. He'd have to wait for Caitlin and Cisco to catch up.

They ran all over the stadium, the man in yellow matching Barry step for step, inch for inch, and blow for blow. Barry darted through the bleachers, snaking through the aisles and up and down the stairs in an attempt to trip up his opponent. Though it slowed the chase, it wasn't enough to keep the other man down. Barry was the clumsier of the two, and his legs had the rapidly-healing bruises to show for it. 

"You're holding back, Flash," the man in yellow mused as they ran. Barry was pretty sure he only understood what had been said due to how fast they were both moving. He was prepared to fire back a witty retort only to discover that the man in yellow had cut away from him. The man in yellow had reversed course and Barry realized all too quickly that they were headed for a collision.

Barry braced himself for a blow as the two met at the top of a stairwell. The man in yellow came to an abrupt stop, slamming into Barry and forcing the energy from his own inertia to push Barry backwards. It hit Barry hard enough to knock him down onto the field. His back hit the ground first and he skidded along the grass in a blur of electricity.

The pain from the fall was enough to keep Barry from bouncing back into the fight, but his body was overwhelmed by trying to absorb all of the energy around him. For a brief moment, he was sure that he had cracked some of his ribs. Breathing was difficult, but just as quickly as he realized he was injured, his advanced healing kicked into overdrive. Cracked ribs, bruises, scrapes - his injuries evaporated into nothingness. The energy that remained pulsed inside of him, attacking the void that had been left by Oliver's death.

The man in yellow stopped at Barry's side, his face still obscured by vibrations. "Something keeping you down, Flash?" he asked.

Barry couldn't say anything. It was all he could do to look at his foe bitterly. The vibrations gave away nothing.

"You'll have to do better than that if you want to catch me," the man in yellow replied, haughtiness dripping in his voice before he sped away.

Overwhelmed by kinetic energy and defeat, Barry blacked out.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr [here](http://sigmundite.tumblr.com/).


End file.
